News Archive

  • Kentucky Derby Weather Prediction “Apocalyptic”

    5/4/2023 – Louisville, KY The weather forecast for The Kentucky Derby Saturday is predicted to be nothing less than the apocalypse. Meteorologists are warning residents to prepare for the end of the world as we know it. According to the latest forecast, a massive storm system will bring torrential rain, hail, and high winds to

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  • All NFL Teams Draft Grades

    5/3/2023 – Kansas City, MO The NFL draft is over and it’s time to grade the teams on their selections. But unlike most analysts who use subjective criteria and biased opinions, I have a more scientific and objective method: the Bell Curve. It doesn’t matter if you picked a future Hall of Famer or a

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  • Australian Woman Claims Aliens Deliver Beverages

    5/2/2023 – Brisbane, AU In a bizarre turn of events, a woman in Australia has claimed that her recent series of DoorDash mystery beverage deliveries are the work of extraterrestrial beings. Samantha Johnson, 32, says she first noticed something strange when she began receiving unsolicited beverages from the food delivery service. “At first I thought

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  • Hungry Art Student Eats Exhibit

    5/1/2023 – Seoul, KR A hungry art student in Seoul caused a stir when he ate a banana from the exhibit “Comedian” by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan. The artwork, which consists of a fresh banana duct taped to a wall, had sold for $120,000 at Art Basel Miami in 2019. The student, who identified himself

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  • Man Fathers 500+, Dutch Court Orders Stop To Sperm Donation

    4/30/2023 – Gouda, NL A Dutch court has ordered a man to stop donating sperm after it was revealed that he had fathered over 500 children around the world. The man, who has not been named, is said to have used a variety of aliases at different sperm banks, including “The Dutch Stallion,” “The Fertile

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  • Neighborhood Evacuated Due To Bad Odor

    04/29/2023 – Doylestown, PA A local neighborhood was evacuated this morning due to a suspicious odor that alarmed the residents. The putrid stench, described as chalky or earthy, started around 9am and quickly spread throughout the area. One resident, who wished to remain anonymous, said he was so concerned that he called the EPA and

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