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Pole Vaulter’s “Third Leg” Costs Olympic Gold
8/4/2024 Paris – In a stunning turn of events at the Paris 2024 Olympics, American pole vaulter Richard “Dick” Long came up short in his bid for gold and a new world record, quite literally by inches. Long, choosing to skip lower heights, had cleared the bar with his body, but his pole – the…
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Veteran’s VA Payout Sparks Family Feud
7/26/2024 Atlanta – BREAKING NEWS: Local Veteran’s Windfall Sparks Family Feud In an unexpected turn of events, local Air Force veteran John Smith reported to his family that he had finally received a substantial check from the VA hospital for all his “issues.” The announcement, however, quickly devolved into a heated family debate. Smith’s older…
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Trump’s “Tremendous” Achievement: Felony
5/30/2024 New York, NY – Rambling outside the courthouse today, former president Donald Trump celebrated what he called a “tremendous achievement” – becoming the first former commander-in-chief in U.S. history to be convicted of felony crimes. “Nobody thought it could be done, but once again I’ve made history in a very big way,” Trump boasted…
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Blog Retirement Plan: Save $65,000 Per Month!
5/28/2024 New York, NY – In a groundbreaking revelation that is sure to shake the personal finance world to its core, popular new financial blog “Money & Sons” has unveiled the secret to retiring comfortably in just 12 short years. Brace yourselves, because this advice is so simple, so obvious, that you’ll be kicking yourself…
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Breaking News: Dirt Makes Shocking Appearance In Field
4/6/2024 Springfield, MO – In a groundbreaking turn of events, a pile of dirt has been spotted resting in a field. Scientists are baffled by this phenomenon, as dirt has historically been known to appear in fields. “This is a major development,” exclaimed Dr. Harold Stone, a leading expert in dirt studies. “For years, we’ve…
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Rural King Under Fire For Woke Carts?
4/6/2024 Farley, KY – Rural King, known for its down-home charm and wranglin’ good deals, has found itself in a surprising kerfuffle. A shopper with a keen eye for the absurd (and a smartphone camera) captured an image of a cart clearly labeled “DEFECTIVE.” But the real twist? This wasn’t a rusty relic banished to…
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