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Trump Caught In Benefits Scam
2/17/2025 New York – In a shocking and ironic twist that has rocked the federal benefits sectors, the Donald Trump created and Elon Musk led Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has uncovered what might be the longest-running Social Security scam in American history. They found Trump, the notorious real estate mogul turned President, has allegedly
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LOCAL MAN MISTAKES “PICKERS SALE” FOR NASAL EXCAVATION EXHIBITION
10/9/2024 Franklin, TN – In a bizarre misunderstanding that has left the community both amused and baffled, local resident Tom Johnson, 43, caused quite a stir at the annual Smalltown Antiques Roadshow when he arrived expecting to see an exhibition of professional nose-pickers. The event, advertised as a “Pickers Sale” was intended to showcase a
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Trump Claims He Invented Pumpkin Spice, Demands Presidency
09/21/2024 Pumpkin Center, NC – In a bizarre statement that has left both political pundits and baristas scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has declared that he single-handedly invented pumpkin spice, the flavor that takes the nation by storm each Fall. At a rally in Pumpkin Center, North Carolina, Trump energized his supporters with
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Health Expert’s “Epiphany” Leaves Scientific Community in Stitches
09/17/2024 Bern, Switzerland in – In a turn of events that has left the scientific community simultaneously amused and exasperated, local health food store owner and self-proclaimed “gut guru” Helvetia Schweizer announced what she believed to be a groundbreaking discovery: Ricola cough drops as a cure for E. coli infections. Schweizer, 45, held a press
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Zealots Urge Pilgrims to Shun “Satan’s Skyscraper”
9/15/2024 Wyoming – In a startling turn of events, a coalition of extreme religious groups has issued an urgent warning to the God-fearing public: stay away from Devil’s Tower National Monument in Wyoming, or risk eternal damnation. The groups, collectively known as “Believers Against Big Bizarre Landforms” (BABBL), claim that the iconic butte is not
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Pole Vaulter’s “Third Leg” Costs Olympic Gold
8/4/2024 Paris – In a stunning turn of events at the Paris 2024 Olympics, American pole vaulter Richard “Dick” Long came up short in his bid for gold and a new world record, quite literally by inches. Long, choosing to skip lower heights, had cleared the bar with his body, but his pole – the
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