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Lakers Beat Grizzlies 111-101 After Brooks Goes For The Ball(s)
4/23/2022 – Los Angeles, CA The NBA playoffs took a dramatic turn on Saturday when Grizzlies guard Dillon Brooks was ejected for hitting Lakers superstar LeBron James in the groin early in the third quarter of their third game of the series. The incident sparked heated exchanges between the two teams for the remainder of…
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Man’s Sandwich Is The Bomb
4/23/2023 – Montgomery, AL by Spencer Pyle In a classic case of mistaken identity, a man’s lunchbox caused quite the stir at his workplace yesterday. According to witnesses, the man left his lunchbox outside the bathroom while he went in for a quick pit stop. Unfortunately, nature had other plans, and the man ended up…
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Bienvenido a Miami, Grand Theft Auto Becomes Reality
4/23/2023 – Miami, FL By Mavis Burns Pensacola resident Mark Johnson has made a bold claim: he doesn’t need a map to navigate the streets of Miami because he’s played over 1000 hours of Grand Theft Auto Vice City. Despite his claim, Johnson found himself lost in the city’s bustling streets and ended up getting…
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Boy Embarasses Parents, Gets Stuck In Claw Machine
4/22/2023 – Charlotte, NC A 13-year-old boy from Charlotte, North Carolina, had to be rescued by firefighters after he got stuck inside a claw machine at Carowinds amusement park on Saturday. The boy, who identified himself as Asher McCallister, said he was trying to win a stuffed animal from the “Cosmic XL Bonus Game” when…
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Antwerp Beer Party, Miller High Life Labeled “urine”
4/22/2023 – Antwerp, BE Belgium has announced that it will destroy all bottles of Miller High Life beer found in the country, as part of a campaign to protect the reputation of champagne. The move comes after the Comité Champagne, the trade association that represents the interests of champagne producers, filed a complaint against the…
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Study Reveals Kids Are Lost, Adults Are Jerks
4/22/2023 – Boise, ID According to a recent study, children are losing their sense of wonder and awe at the world around them, and experts say it’s all because of the crushing weight of existence and the fact that adults are a bunch of jerks. “It’s really sad to see,” said child psychologist Dr. Jane…
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