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Mechanic Claims Fast And Furious Prize
5/21/2023 Gulf Breeze, FL – A group of die-hard Fast and Furious fans competed for a $1000 prize in a binge-watching contest organized by FinanceBuzz, a personal finance website. The contestants had to watch all 10 movies in the franchise (roughly 20 viewing hours) and document each crash for insurance adjustment claims. The challenge proved
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Tucker Carlson Rant
5/20/2023 New York City – Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson was reportedly furious after someone accidentally ate his yogurt from the refrigerator at work. The conservative host had left a note on his yogurt saying “Tucker’s yogurt. Do not touch.” but apparently someone ignored it and helped themselves to his dairy treat. According to
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Oscar Mayer Introduces Frankmobile
5/19/2023 Madison, WI – In a move that seems puzzling to many, Oscar Mayer has announced that it is changing the name of its iconic Wienermobile (since 1936) to the Frankmobile. The company says that the name change is meant to “celebrate the brand’s 100% Beef Franks” and to “encourage people not to take things
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Taco Bell Pushes Margarita Martes
5/18/2023 Irvine, CA – In a bold move, Taco Bell has filed a petition with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office this week to cancel the trademark of “Taco Tuesday” held by its rival Taco John’s. Taco Bell claims that the phrase is too generic and common to be owned by anyone, and that it
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WHO States End To Pandemic, What Next?
5/17/2023 Geneva – The World Health Organization (WHO) has declared an end to the global pandemic that has claimed millions of lives and disrupted economies and societies for three years. In a press conference held today, WHO director-general, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, praised the efforts of health workers, scientists, governments and civil society in handling the
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Fox News Apologizes To Soros
5/16/2023 New York City – In a surprising turn of events, Fox News issued a public apology today to George Soros, acknowledging that he is actually a lovely guy and that they regret besmirching his reputation all these years. “We were wrong about George Soros,” said Fox News anchor Brian Kilmeade. “He’s actually quite charming
The Journalist BS 