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Micky Arison To Conor McGregor: Bring It On!
6/11/2023 Miami – The NBA Finals took an unexpected turn on Friday night when UFC superstar Conor McGregor punched and injured the Miami Heat mascot Burnie during a halftime bit. McGregor apparently took the skit too far with real punches that weren’t softened enough by the mascot’s costume. Complex Sports posted their video of the…
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Indictment Day? Time For OJ!
6/9/2023 Abilene, TX – Man baffled by wife’s anger after he treats her to Orange Julius at Dairy Queen A man from Texas claims he has no idea why his wife stormed out of a Dairy Queen after he ordered her an Orange Julius as a surprise treat. The man, who asked to remain anonymous,…
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Trump: I Know How To Declassify Stuff, Trust Me
6/8/2023 Washington, DC – Former President Donald Trump has defended his decision to take classified documents out of the White House and store them at his Mar-a-Lago estate, claiming that he knew the proper declassification process and followed it while in office. In an exclusive interview with Fox News, Trump said that he had the…
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Smoke From Canadian Wildfires Chokes US Air Quality
6/7/2023 Washington, DC – Breaking news: US air quality worsens as Canadian wildfires rage on. Experts warn of health risks and a hidden danger lurking in the smoke. The US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has issued an air quality alert for several states as the smoke from the Canadian wildfires drifts southward. The smoke contains…
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Saudi Arabia To Cut Oil Production, Increase Aluminum
6/6/2023 Vienna – Saudi Arabia announced that it will lower its oil production to 9 million barrels a day in an attempt by OPEC to “shore up crude prices with the aim of supporting the stability and balance of oil markets.” However, insiders have learned that the real reason behind the move is to funnel…
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China To White House: “We are just unlucky”
6/5/2023 Taipei – China has responded to the White House’s warning that someone may get hurt by China’s military “aggressiveness” in the Taiwan Strait and South China Sea with a friendly invitation to join them for a tea party. “We are deeply hurt by the accusations of the White House, which are based on false…
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