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California Reclaims Most Expensive Gas Title From Washington In A Matter Of Hours
6/21/2023 Sacramento, CA – In a stunning move, the California state legislature held an emergency session on Wednesday to pass a new gas tax that would increase the average price of gasoline in the state by .045 per gallon. The reason for this unprecedented action? To reclaim the title of most expensive state for gas
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Nuggets Get Nugged: Biden’s Tofu Surprise For NBA Winners
6/20/2023 Washington, DC – In a surprising move, President Joe Biden announced today that he will invite the Denver Nuggets to the White House in celebration of their NBA championship. The Nuggets, who won their first title in franchise history by defeating the Miami Heat in five games, will be honored by the president in
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Blinken And Jinping Exchange Gifts: Balloons And A Book On Trade Wars
6/19/23 Beijing – In a surprising twist of diplomacy, US Secretary of State Antony Blinken showed up at his meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping today with a balloon bouquet gift, while Jinping presented Blinken a book on how to win trade wars titled “The Art of the Deal (But Not Really)”. The awkward exchange
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Happy Father’s Day! Study Reveals Sleep Cooking Problem
6/18/2023 Chicago – A new study has revealed that a high rate of men are “sleep” cooking on Father’s Day due to work responsibilities late the evening before. This phenomenon is similar to sleep walking but with the added activities of cooking while asleep. The study, conducted by the Sleep Research Institute, found sleep cooking
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YouTuber Exposes Kroger Pricing Scandal, Clerk Loses His Job And Sues
6/17/2023 Louisville – A former Kroger store clerk has filed a lawsuit against the grocery chain for firing him over a pricing error that cost the company $1.08. The clerk, who wishes to remain anonymous, claims that he was unfairly terminated for mispricing two clearance carpet cleaning items that were sold to a popular YouTuber.
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Oops! Jenny’s Other Numbers Stolen By Hackers
6/16/2023 Washington, DC – BREAKING: Jenny’s Number Exposed in Massive Cyberattack Jenny, the girl whose phone number was immortalized in the 1981 hit song “867-5309/Jenny” by Tommy Tutone, has become a victim of a massive cyberattack that has compromised millions of private information across households in Louisiana and Oregon. According to sources, the hackers, who
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