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Wimbledon Umpire: Hall Pass Required For Toilet Break
7/13/2023 Wimbledon – USTA and Wimbledon officials announced today they are investigating an incident that occurred during the qualifying rounds. The incident involved an unnamed pro tennis player who needed a toilet break, but was asked by the chair umpire if they had a hall pass. If so, they would be allowed to “go tinkle…
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Prime Day Deal: Elvis Toilet Paper
7/11/2023 Memphis – Local resident Karen Browning was furious when she found out that her husband had bought all the Elvis Presley toilet paper rolls available from an Amazon Prime Day sale. The rolls have the face of the singer printed on each sheet. As a self-proclaimed Elvis fan, Josh Browning said he couldn’t ignore…
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Murder Suspect: It’s Too Hot Outside
7/10/2023 Warren PA – A prison escapee in Pennsylvania decided to turn himself in after spending a few days in the sweltering heat on Monday. Michael Charles Burham, who was serving a sentence for arson and burglary and a murder suspect in another case, managed to slip out of the Warren County Prison Friday. He…
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Colorado Alerts Thousands; Prompting Action On Two Fronts
7/8/2023 Denver – Colorado recently launched a new alert system to help locate people missing from Indigenous communities, but due to a spelling error in the application’s code, it ended up sending alerts for missing ingenious people instead. The programmer who developed the system misspelled Indigenous as “indigeneous” and the system autocorrected it to “ingenious”.…
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Parent’s Guide To Surviving The Summer
7/7/2023 Monkeys Eyebrow, KY – Are you dreading the summer break with your kids? Do you wish you could just send them to a boarding school or a summer camp and forget about them for a while? Well, don’t worry, we have you covered. Click through the slideshow to discover the JournalistBS top ten tips…
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White House Mix Up Between Coca Cola And Cocaine
7/6/2023 Washington D.C. – In an odd twist to the story around cocaine found in the West Wing entrance area on Sunday, the White House revealed the source of the cocaine in a press release today. The statement announced the substance was left by a cleaning crew member who had read about a cleaning hack…
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