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Hunter Biden Attempts To Steal Courtroom Bible
7/26/2023 Wilmington, DE – A plea agreement between federal prosecutors and Hunter Biden collapsed today amidst chaos in the courtroom. Biden was set to plead guilty to federal tax crimes as part of a deal to avoid future charges for illegal foreign lobbying. However, the Justice Department did not agree Biden would avoid the future…
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Famous Photographer “Butt Posted” Photos Sell Out
7/25/2023 NEW YORK – Renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz found herself in an embarrassing situation this week when several unintended lint photos were added to her website’s print sales section via accidental “butt posts” while her phone was unlocked and stored in her back pocket. The intimate photos, which appeared to be extreme close-ups of fabric…
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Kim Jung Un Defects As “Swap” For Travis King
7/24/2023 Seoul – In a shocking turn of events, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un crossed the Demilitarized Zone into South Korea earlier today, stating he wished to defect as part of a “fair swap” for American Army Private, Travis King, who crossed into North Korea willingly on July 18th. Speaking to reporters at the…
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Purina’s New Recipes: Lean Cuisine For Canines And Humans
7/23/2023 PURINA, MN – In an effort to aid Americans struggling with rampant inflation, pet food manufacturer Mars Petcare has announced the release of two new dog food products that are affordable, nutritious and appetizing for both man’s best friend and their best friends. The new lines – Cost Cutter Kibble and Beans ‘n Bits…
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Woman Claims Eating GMO Soybeans Allows Her To Withstand Record Heat
7/22/2023 Phoenix – As temperatures continue to soar to dangerous levels across the Southwest, Phoenix resident Samantha Jones claims she’s found the secret to beating the heat: drought-resistant soybeans. “I’ve been eating these super soybeans for weeks now and I feel great, even when it’s 120 degrees out!” said Jones. “I can just lounge by…
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Zuckerberg Announces “Barbenheimer” VR Game
7/21/2023 Menlo Park, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of a new VR game called “Barbenheimer” this weekend, where players can choose to be Barbie or Oppenheimer in a virtual reality setting. The game, which is exclusive to the Oculus Quest 2 virtual reality headset, is described as a “social experiment”…
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