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Mysterious Alien Communication To Earth: WTF
8/26/2023 Houston – NASA scientists announced recently the discovery of a bizarre question-mark-shaped structure in images from the James Webb Space Telescope. The structure, located in a remote region of space, appears to be transmitting an audible message that initially left researchers scratching their heads. The structure can be seen to the right of the
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Debate Highlight: Yes, We’re All Cool with Treason
8/25/2023 Milwaukee – In a rare moment of unity at the contentious GOP primary debate Wednesday, all candidates agreed they would vote for a Republican nominee for president even if the nominee was a criminal who almost drove the country to complete destruction, as long as it meant defeating the Democratic candidate. “Look, if the
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NYC Mayor Pleads With Locals To Stop Sending Tourists To Subway Restaurants
8/23/2023 New York City – Mayor Eric Adams is pleading with city residents to stop giving directions to Subway restaurants when tourists ask for directions to subway stations. “It’s a serious problem,” Adams said in a press conference today. “Tourists are coming to New York City, they’re asking for directions to the subway, and people
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Fulton County Jail Won’t Take New Mug Shot Of Trump
8/22/2023 Atlanta – The Fulton County Jail announced it will not take a new mug shot of Donald Trump when the former president turns himself in on Thursday to face criminal charges. “We’ll just use one of his old mug shots already on file,” said Fulton County Sheriff Patrick “Pat” Labat. “No need to waste
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Biden Takes Nap During Zoom Call On Tropical Storm Damage
8/21/2023 Washington, D.C. – During a Zoom conference call with FEMA officials to discuss damage and recovery efforts from Tropical Storm Hilary, President Biden was seen on video crawling into a Sleep Pod Move cocoon blanket mid-meeting, claiming he needed to “manage [his] stress and anxiety on the heels of another national emergency.” Biden’s move
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Local Dad Stumped By Daughter’s Cryptic “IJBOL” Text
8/20/2023 Concord, NH – Local father Ned Jones revealed this week that he was utterly confused by a strange text he recently received from his teen daughter Katie. The mystifying text simply read “IJBOL.” “I just stared at it for minutes trying to figure out what she meant,” said the puzzled father. “My first thought
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