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New Poll Confirms: $29 Million Salary Is Basically Poverty Level In USA
9/15/2023 Detroit – A new poll conducted today has revealed the vast majority of Americans struggle to comprehend how someone could possibly survive on an annual salary of just $29 million, such as General Motors CEO Mary Barra. The poll was conducted amidst a United Auto Workers strike against GM, Ford, and Stellantis over issues…
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Biden Seeks Salvation Through Impeachment Confessional
9/14/2023 Washington D.C. – In an unprecedented move, President Joe Biden has ordered the installation of a new impeachment confessional booth inside the White House. The cozy space allows Biden to casually confess the political sins and misconduct he may or may not have committed. “With how common impeachment proceedings have become, I thought it…
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Leaked Receipts Show Earth Is Just A Zoo For Alien Vacationers
9/12/2023 Roswell, NM – Military personnel raided the International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell early Tuesday morning, confiscating several artifacts related to the alleged 1947 UFO crash. The raid comes just days after a visitor to the museum posted a photo on social media of scraps of paper recovered from the original crash…
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Snoring Through Home Town Leads To Husband Getting Flak In The Bedroom
9/8/2023 Pawtucket, RI – Area husband Brett Landry found himself in hot water last night after he allegedly slept through his wife Jenny’s favorite HGTV programming only to perk up when she was ready for bed. “He passed out on the couch and started snoring halfway through an epic 4 hour Home Town binge,” said…
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This Marriage Stinks: Wife Accuses Husband Of Toxic Flatulence
9/7/2023 Springfield, MO – Local woman Bethany Jones filed a police report against her husband, Hank Jones, earlier today, alleging that he intentionally “crop-dusted” her with a foul smelling fart. Bethany claims she knew trouble was brewing when Hank “loaded up on broccoli and cauliflower” at dinner. “He always eats those veggies when he wants…
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Sales Callers Demand Right To Annoy You Over Dinner
9/6/2023 Cleveland – The National Association of Annoying Salespeople (NAAS) held a rally today to protest the increasing use of call screening technologies that block unwanted robocalls and cold calls. They say this tech is destroying the ability to connect with potential customers and make a living. “It’s gotten to the point where when I…
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