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“Stupid” Shirt Ruins Christmas Dinner
12/24/2023 Pawtucket, RI – Christmas dinner at the Johnson family household took an unexpected turn today when Uncle Charlie showed up wearing a shirt that said “I’m With Stupid” and had an arrow pointing to the side. According to witnesses, Charlie thought the shirt would be taken as a harmless joke and get some laughs
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Advocacy Groups Call Out Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ As Discriminatory
12/23/2023 The North Pole – With only a couple of days until Christmas, several advocacy groups gathered today at a press conference to condemn Santa Claus’ longtime practice of giving coal to naughty children as “blatant discrimination.” They argue that a child’s moral character should not determine whether or not they receive gifts on Christmas
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Silent Night: Local Carolers Resort To Mime And Sign Language
12/18/2023 Phoenix – The Silverton Community Choir embarked on their annual caroling tour of local neighborhoods recently, fully prepared to spread holiday cheer with classic songs and festive melodies. However, a changing social landscape left them caroling to silent, “empty” houses as modern day families inside were too engrossed with devices and technology to answer
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Jingle Bell Stalk: Tree Creep Snaps Pics Of Holiday Decorations
12/17/2023 Indianapolis – Carl Bunker, a controversial tree paparazzi photographer from Kentucky known for aggressively stalking and photographing trees, has now set his sights on a new target – homes with elaborate holiday light displays. Bunker, who is currently wanted for wildlife abuse in New Mexico and indecent tree exposure in Kentucky, was spotted this
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RNC Contracts With AI Startup To Create Immortal Trump Bot
12/17/2023 Washington, D.C. – The Republican National Committee shocked the world today by announcing a secret deal with tech startup HumanoGram Inc. to produce an artificial intelligence powered robot version of former president Donald Trump that can run in all future presidential elections and never concede. “We realized that no mere mortal could match the
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Houdini Wannabe Makes Off With MGM’s Money In Magical Heist
12/10/2023 Las Vegas – MGM Resorts International is seeing red after a local magician made off with a magical jackpot. “The Incredible Romero”, has been sued by the casino giant after apparently using his sleight-of-hand skills to rake in big winnings during his free time. MGM made news this past summer when they rewarded Romero
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