1/10/2024 Indianapolis – Local meteorologist Mike Blurton held a press conference today to discuss the potential for a major storm system moving into the area in the coming days. However, Blurton seemed unable to provide any definitive information about what we can expect.

“Well, looks like there’s some sort of weather system brewing out there in Iowa,” said Blurton. ” It’s headed this way. Once it hits us, no way to predict what form the precipitation might take. Could be rain, could be freezing rain, could be hail and lightning and thunder for all I know.”

Blurton pointed vaguely at a weather map with his yardstick but was unable to indicate any specific details.

“As you can see, maybe some colors here suggesting possibilities of air masses and fronts and whatnot,” he said. “But frankly, this map is as clear as mud to me. Hard to say what’s in store.”

When pressed for more information, Blurton threw up his hands in exasperation. “Look, it might rain, might be sleet, might be snow, might be 40 and sunny all day. I just don’t know! That’s the best forecast I can give you right now.”

Blurton’s vague and inconclusive forecast has left local residents unsure how to prepare. Many are wondering whether they should rush to grocery stores and clear the shelves of bread and milk, or if they should just go about their business as usual.

“I don’t know if I should freak out and go join the hysteria mob hoarding supplies, or if I’m worked up over nothing and this will just be a sunny day,” said local resident Jane Stockton. “His forecast basically told us nothing. Should I panic buy everything in sight or not? I’m confused!”

Tune into tonight’s nightly news at 11 for updates.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

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