4/21/2023 – Brownsville, TX

Another day, another Starship explosion. SpaceX’s latest attempt to launch ended in a spectacular fireball, as it exploded midair disintegrating into pieces as it fell from the sky. The company’s founder, Elon Musk, was quick to tweet that “at least the debris field landed in the right place!” and that he was surprised Starship achieved any lift off the launch pad.

But not everyone was impressed by the failed launch.  A family in Texas is suing SpaceX for damages after a piece of debris from the Starship explosion landed on their roof yesterday. The family claims that the debris caused a hole in their ceiling, a fire in their attic, and a power outage in their neighborhood.  The legal filing appears to be supported by aerial footage of the carnage and surrounding beach.  They also accuse SpaceX of being irresponsible and environmentally unfriendly for launching rockets that explode and pollute the air. 

“We are outraged by SpaceX’s reckless disregard for our safety and our planet,” said Amelia Laurier, the head of the family. “They are wasting billions of dollars on these failed experiments while we are struggling to pay our bills and survive the pandemic. They are also contributing to global warming by releasing tons of carbon dioxide and other harmful gases into the atmosphere. How can they call themselves a visionary company when they are destroying our future?”

SpaceX founder and CEO Elon Musk responded to the lawsuit by tweeting: “While the Starship launch was a great success, I will personally find out who is responsible for the explosion midair!  That was supposed to happen on the launch pad.  Either way, the explosion sure was spectacular and beautiful to watch. The resulting debris is a small price to pay for advancing humanity’s colonization of Mars.”

Social media responses to SpaceX and Elon Musk questioned the feasibility and wisdom of their ambitious plans to send humans to Mars:

“Wow, that was a great fireworks show. Thanks, Elon!” @IAmAMartian

“Maybe next time you should try launching a Tesla instead of a tin can.” Wrote @JustSayNoToMusk, “I guess that’s one way to reduce the carbon footprint of space travel. Just burn it all before it leaves the ground.”

A third quipped, “Well, at least they proved that Starship can land. Just not in one piece.” @BlueOriginRules

 “Wow, SpaceX is really good at making fireworks. Maybe they should stick to that instead of trying to colonize Mars.” @PyromaniaNotTheAlbum

“I wonder how many Starships it will take to terraform Mars. Maybe they can just drop them from orbit and create artificial volcanoes.” @NewAgeGeology

“SpaceX should rename Starship to Starboom. It’s more accurate and catchy.” @FireworksLover

“Maybe Elon Musk is secretly a supervillain who wants to destroy Earth by launching exploding rockets. That would explain a lot.” @ConspiracyTheorist

“I hope SpaceX has a good insurance policy. They must be spending a fortune on repairing their launch site every time a Starship blows up.”@YouAreNotInGoodHands

“SpaceX is doing a great service to humanity by testing the limits of rocket science. And by limits, I mean how many times you can fail before giving up.” @SuperCrash

SpaceX founder and CEO Elon Musk, however, remained optimistic and unfazed by the setback and lawsuit. He tweeted, “Rapid unscheduled disassembly (RUD) occurred during ascent. We will try again soon. Starship is still the future of humanity.” He also thanked his supporters and fans for their encouragement and faith in his vision. “Don’t worry, we will get there. Mars is waiting for us.”