2/23/2025 National Harbor, MD – In a series of explosive revelations at this year’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), multiple speakers warned attendees about the Democrat’s “radical leftist agenda” pointing to what they claim is overwhelming evidence of their socialist sympathies.

“Just look at the facts, people,” declared JD Vance, gesturing wildly at a PowerPoint slide. “Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid…..all waste under the disguise of Social Democracy – it’s like they’re not even trying to hide it anymore! I say fine. We’ve preached transparency since January 20th.”

That’s when Vance unveiled a bombshell. “Because we’ve pushed all moderate conservatives and liberals out of leadership roles, we are announcing a rebranding of sorts. CPAC forevermore will be Conservative Politicians Acting Communist. We are after all the “Red” party. And nothing symbolizes Communism more than red!”

Senator Marsha Blackburn from Tennessee pointed out Trump ignoring court orders, issuing executive orders giving the president authority to interpret law, and misappropriation of Congressional funds as further evidence of what she termed “Trump indoctrination.” “Why are we pushing extremism on our children?” she cheered. “Because that’s exactly what Chairman Mao did! Wake up, America!”

The evidence continued to mount as guest speakers highlighted other activities:

• Donald Trump dismissing senior military personnel in order to take control of the military
• The administration’s plan to take the Panama Canal, Greenland, Canada, and Gaza…for starters
• Mark Rubio confirming US interest in Ukraine boiling down to owning Ukraine’s rich minerals.
• Senator Rand Paul from Kentucky marking himself “Safe from FEMA” during the floods this week.

The conference reached its climax when Argentine President Javier Milei unveiled his masterpiece: a 400-page manifesto titled “The Populist Manifesto: How America’s Favorite Clown Is Turning Our Kids into Little Lennins.”

The conference concluded with calls to boycott Federal Agencies in favor of “patriotic” private ones that are more efficient. Private offerings included Elon Musk’s “Mars or Bust” space exploration program, Mark Zuckerberg’s “Meta Algorithmic Altruism” as a social welfare replacement of HHS, and Jeff Bezos’s “Prime Protection” services instead of the Department of Defense. However, several attendees were later spotted getting Measles vaccines at the local CVS.

BY BS

The Journalist BS