7/26/2024 Atlanta – BREAKING NEWS: Local Veteran’s Windfall Sparks Family Feud

In an unexpected turn of events, local Air Force veteran John Smith reported to his family that he had finally received a substantial check from the VA hospital for all his “issues.” The announcement, however, quickly devolved into a heated family debate.

Smith’s older brother, Tom, scoffed at the news, saying, “Issues? He had those long before joining the Air Force. Remember that time he got stuck in the dryer playing hide-and-seek?”

Sarah, the youngest sister, chimed in, “Well, the check must have been huge then. We all know John’s got more issues than a magazine stand.”

As the family processed the news, two other siblings, Mike and Lisa, made startling claims to the newfound wealth. “We’re owed part of that money,” Mike declared. “After all, we’re the reason you had issues to begin with. Remember all those wedgies?”

Lisa nodded vigorously, adding, “Yeah, and don’t forget the time we convinced you the basement was haunted. You didn’t sleep for weeks!”

The situation escalated as the siblings began arguing over who deserved the largest share of John’s compensation. “I clearly caused the most trauma,” Mike boasted. “Remember the ‘Tooth Fairy Incident’?”

“Please,” Lisa retorted, “My ‘Clown Under the Bed’ prank was way more psychologically damaging. I deserve at least 60% of that check!”

As the bickering intensified, John sat in stunned silence, wondering if he could claim additional compensation for this new family-induced stress.

When reached for comment, a VA spokesperson simply sighed and muttered, “And people wonder why we take so long to process these claims.”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Copilot