5/28/2024 New York, NY – In a groundbreaking revelation that is sure to shake the personal finance world to its core, popular new financial blog “Money & Sons” has unveiled the secret to retiring comfortably in just 12 short years. Brace yourselves, because this advice is so simple, so obvious, that you’ll be kicking yourself for not thinking of it sooner.

According to the blog’s calculations, all you need to do is save a measly $65,000 per month, and after 12 years of diligent penny-pinching, you’ll be sitting on a cozy nest egg of $16.7 million (after compounding interest and dividends). Who needs social security or 401(k)s when you can just put away roughly 780 grand a year and amass a cool $16.7 million!

“We’re just trying to help people achieve financial freedom,” said blogger John D. Moneyhan, owner of Money & Sons and scion of the fabulously wealthy Moneyhan family. “Sure, living poor year after year for over a decade may seem tough, but I always say, ‘No pain, no insanely lavish 12-year retirement!’”

The blog post, titled “Why You’re Broke: A Tough-Love Guide to Early Retirement,” lays out the math in painstaking detail. It assumes a 6% annual return on investments and the mental fortitude to avoid temptations like food, shelter, or basic human dignities for 144 consecutive months.

When asked about the feasibility of such a savings plan for ordinary Americans, some of whom may make closer to $65,000 per year rather than per month, Moneyhan scoffed. “Look, if you want the good life, you have to make sacrifices. Sure, you may have to live in a refrigerator box and eat discarded hot dog buns for a few years, but isn’t that a small price to pay for never having to work again before you hit middle age?”

Financial experts are already hailing Money & Sons as “a much-needed wake-up call” and “the key to life-changing wealth, provided you currently earn close to a million per year.” So, what are you waiting for? Start scrimping and saving those $65,000 monthly increments, and you too could be the next super-early retirement success story!

BY BS

The Journalist BS