12/31/2023 New York – Scientists at the Institute for Advanced Astrophysics fed massive amounts of data about our galaxy and known universes into an advanced AI system called PlanetScout 3000 in search of a potential new home for us. In a startling discovery after processing all of the data, PlanetScout 3000 reported back that it had discovered a potentially habitable planet that appears to be the third planet from our sun.

However, PlanetScout 3000 warned that although conditions on ‘Planet Three’ could support human life, its inhabitants appear to be highly irrational and dangerous humanoid creatures.

“After cross referencing the astronomical data with historical records, we can confirm that Planet Three is indeed Earth,” explained Dr. Jane Smith, lead researcher on the project. “The AI findings should be a stern warning for the inhabitants and Earth leaders, though. It seems Earthlings have created a primitive, unstable society ruled by superstition and tribal conflict. It is frankly astonishing that they have not managed to destroy themselves yet.”

Dr. Smith cautioned that while Earth has liquid water, breathable air, and a suitable climate for humans, it may be unwise for more rational beings to attempt contact or consider it a viable place to live.

“Honestly, we cannot say in good conscience that Earth is safe for habitation at this time. The inhabitants fight constantly over insignificant differences, elect unstable leaders, and allow greed and selfishness to rule their societies. They are clearly still at a primitive stage of social evolution.”

The research team is still unsure how Earthlings have survived this long without driving themselves to extinction. But they advised against travel to or communications with Planet Three until the inhabitants mature significantly, if that ever happens.

“Their violent fiction seems to indicate they idolize conflict and domination,” Dr. Smith noted with concern. “We urge all interstellar travelers to avoid Planet Three for the foreseeable future.”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Chat AI