12/18/2023 Phoenix – The Silverton Community Choir embarked on their annual caroling tour of local neighborhoods recently, fully prepared to spread holiday cheer with classic songs and festive melodies. However, a changing social landscape left them caroling to silent, “empty” houses as modern day families inside were too engrossed with devices and technology to answer their doors. Or they simply were avoiding unwanted salespeople and unexpected visitors.

“We proudly belted out ‘Deck the Halls’ to the closed doors and darkened windows of 72 Oak Lane,” said choir president Holden Uppasign. “When no one answered, even after our boisterous three-part harmonizing of ‘Fa la la la la’, we sang even louder, hoping to remind families it’s the holiday season.”

After hitting several more homes without a single door opening, it soon dawned on the carolers that their once beloved tradition of door-to-door musical performances was no longer appreciated by modem families too distracted by life to care.

“We realized people just don’t answer their doors anymore,” said a dejected Uppasign. “That’s when our idea really came to life.”

In a desperate bid to spread some holiday cheer, Silverton Community Choir made the bold decision to perform all songs as elaborate mime routines with sign language after the repeated unanswered knocks and doorbell rings.

“We figured in the age of headphones, video calls, and general indifference to those singing tidings at your doorstep, we needed a new schtick to capture people’s attention,” said Holden Uppasign. “So, we workshopped some silent pantomime numbers with overzealous facial expressions and hand gesticulations reminiscent of bad modern dance.”

The group spent days translating classic carols like “Jingle Bells” and “Deck the Halls” into exaggerated American Sign Language to convey the holiday spirit without so much as an audible ho-ho-ho.

“I was worried folks might not grasp my exuberant rendition of ‘Good King Wenceslas’ in ASL,” noted Uppasign. “But then I mimed looking out on the Feast of Stephen while fawning over deep snow drifts and wild beasts roaming outside, and it made more sense.”

Early neighborhood reactions to the noiseless numbers have been mixed, ranging from confused indifference to calling the police. But the carolers remain committed to expressing yuletide glee.

“Sure, it feels a bit absurdist and avant-garde right now,” added Uppasign in between silently heaving breaths from an intense ballet-like leap during “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” “But we hope this catches on and we see copycat groups of carolers adopting this new quiet choreography method in neighborhoods everywhere.”

At press time, the group was workshopping a showstopper finale to “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” complete with exaggerated smiles, jazz hands, and concluding with raising the roof hand gestures.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Chat AI