12/2/2023 New York – The NBA stunned fans today by revealing a new initiative to develop AI robot basketball players. The league aims to have fully autonomous robot players competing in NBA games within the next 5 to 10 years.

“We believe AI players are the future of basketball,” said NBA commissioner Adam Silver at a press conference. “Robots offer consistency, precision, and 24/7 availability for practicing. They don’t get tired, injured, or embroiled in off-court drama.”

The league is starting small – its first experiment will be during the All Star game this season by having a single robot compete against human players. The current robot prototype named R-Ball 4000 stands 7 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 315 pounds. It has a 72 inch vertical leap and can accurately shoot 3-pointers 95% of the time in practice.

R-Ball 4000 and future AI players are being developed by Deep Hoops Learning Solutions, an AI safety startup. Researchers are programming the robots with basketball fundamentals and tactics using machine learning calculations. The robots are customized with pivoting joints, shock absorbers, and durable carbon fiber materials that mimic muscle and bone.

“While R-Ball 4000 remains a work-in-progress, we anticipate rapid improvements to surpass human limitations,” explained Deep Hoops Learning Solutions CEO Al Gorithms. “Robots practice all day and night without complaint. And forthcoming upgrades will let them dunk from the free throw line.”

Many NBA players have spoken out against the move. “Part of basketball is the emotion, sweat and hustle – AI can’t ever match that,” said LeBron James.

However, their concerns seem to have fallen on deaf ears as the NBA races towards its robotic future. Commissioner Silver confirmed, “We are coming after the referee’s jobs next. I mean, you don’t need officiating when the AI players are programmed to always play within the rules. Imaging a future where flopping only occurs in the NFL!”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Chat AI