11/3/2023 Belmont, CA – Lacrosse dad Barry Thompson is drawing attention for his commitment to superstition after refusing to change his underwear for the entirety of his daughter Emma’s high school lacrosse season. Thompson’s unusual ritual began after Emma’s team, the Belmont Bruins, won their first game while Thompson was wearing a particular pair of boxer shorts.

“I’m not usually superstitious, but when the Bruins beat their rivals in the first game, I knew my lucky drawers had something to do with it,” said Thompson. “I decided then and there not to change them until the season was over.”

As the undefeated Bruins continued racking up wins, Thompson stayed committed to his smelly superstition. His wife Becky pleaded with him to change, but Thompson insisted the dirty underwear was behind the team’s success.

Other lacrosse parents noted Thompson’s “aggressive musk” from the sidelines, with several voicing complaints during games. Thompson was eventually asked by school administrators and coaches to sit out the remaining away games due to his overwhelming stench.

“I’m just being a dedicated lacrosse dad,” argued Thompson. “If my funky drawers helped keep the Bruins’ winning streak alive, then it was all worth it.”

Emma Thompson admitted being mortified at first by her dad’s nose-assaulting underwear ritual, but is now used to it. “Honestly, I’m just really glad I got to play lacrosse this year rather than be stuck at home with his toxic underwear fumes,” she said.

At press time, the undefeated Bruins had clinched the regional championship, with plans for Thompson to road trip to the state finals in his unwashed lucky underwear. Opposing teams are already threatening to forfeit if Thompson shows up au naturel.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Chat AI