10/18/2023 Toronto – Pop singer and actress Cher sparked controversy today by declaring she would move to Canada if Donald Trump is elected U.S. president in 2024. However, her immigration dreams may be dashed as Canadian officials claim she’s ineligible due to her decades of ear bleeding music being considered criminal activity under the Canadian Criminal Code.

“If that Orange Julius gets back in the White House, I’m packing my bags for Toronto,” Cher shrieked in an interview on The View earlier today. But Canadian Minister of Immigration Mark Miller responded that her application would likely be denied on character grounds.

“Ms. Cher’s discography, including songs like ‘Believe’ and ‘If I Could Turn Back Time,’ would be considered sonic terrorism under section 83.2 of the criminal code,” said Minister Miller. “For the safety of Canadians, we cannot allow such harmful auditory pollution across our borders by granting her citizenship.”

Cher fired back on Twitter, saying “My music is iconic! If Canadians can’t handle my talent, it’s their loss!” She then threatened to move to Mexico instead.

Political analysts say Cher’s threats carry little weight, since she’s threatened to move from the U.S. numerous times in the past over political squabbles without following through. “This is likely just another meaningless publicity stunt by an increasingly irrelevant relic desperately clinging to the spotlight,” said one expert.

So it seems Cher’s dreams of escaping Trump in Canada may be Wishful Thinking, much like the quality of her music. But if her citizenship is denied, she’ll soon be turning back time on her plans to flee north of the border.

For his part, Trump did respond with a statement. “Cher wanting to move to Canada to get away from me is totally fake news. She’s too LOW ENERGY to actually leave the U.S. Believe me, her music is SO OVERRATED, Canada would never take her. They have much better musical talent, like Justin Bieber and Nickelback. Sad!”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

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