10/3/2023 Washington, D.C. – In an embarrassing gaffe revealed today, President Biden accidentally used the bipartisan bill to prevent a government shutdown as a napkin during a pumpkin spice cheesecake late night snack attack in the Oval Office near the October 1st deadline.

Biden had been meeting with Republican and Democratic leaders to discuss proposals for the critical funding legislation when an aide brought in the seasonally popular pumpkin spice cheesecake for the President. As Biden dug into the silky treat, he unknowingly grabbed the crucial bipartisan bill that was sitting on his desk and used it to wipe cheesecake from his mouth.

“As soon as he did it, the entire room just went silent,” said one staffer who asked not to be named. “Biden slowly looked down at the pumpkin spice smeared bill in his hand and you could see the gears turning in his head trying to figure out what he had just done.”

After an awkward pause, Biden finally exclaimed “Oops!” and chuckled at his mistake. “No big deal! We’ll just print another one,” he said jokingly as he handed the bill to cringing advisors.

The White House assured the public that funding to prevent a government shutdown would still be secured.

“This little napkin incident doesn’t change anything,” Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters. “We just used the President’s cheesecake remnants on the bill as his official signature.”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Microsoft Chat AI