9/27/2023 New York – In a stunning legal decision yesterday, New York judge Arthur Engoron ruled that former President Donald Trump and his adult sons Donald Jr. and Eric were liable for numerous fraudulent business practices at the Trump Organization. As punishment, Engoron canceled the Trump Organization’s business certification, essentially preventing it from conducting any legal business in New York State.

While most individuals or companies would be devastated by such a ruling, Trump seemed nonplussed. “It doesn’t impact us. We’ve done plenty of business over the years under the table and without any business certifications,” he told reporters with a shrug.

Trump then boasted about his history of shady dealings, perhaps unaware that his admissions could cause further legal troubles. “When I was just starting out in real estate, I made half my deals in backrooms and parking garages,” he said proudly. “Me and the boys learned the business from the ground up, doing jobs for the mob and money laundering for foreign dictators. We never needed any piece of paper from the government telling us our business is legit!”

Donald Jr. and Eric nodded in agreement, high-fiving their father. “We can keep doing what we’ve always done – skimming cash, cooking the books, and screwing over anyone stupid enough to sign a contract with us,” said Donald Jr. “This ruling doesn’t change a thing!”

While the Trumps seemed unbothered by the court decision, legal experts say canceling their business certification could be a major blow by preventing them from securing loans, holding liquor licenses, and entering into other basic company functions. But the resilient Trump clan remains confident they can find shady ways to keep the money flowing.

“We didn’t become billionaires by following rules and regulations,” Eric Trump declared. “We became billionaires through fraud, corruption, and working outside the law. And we’re not about to let some judge and his ruling stop us now!”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Craiyon AI