9/20/2023 Washington, D.C. – With gas prices still hovering near record highs and the continued UAW strike, President Biden is proposing new incentives aimed at getting more Americans out of their gas-guzzling SUVs and into primitive homemade build it yourself foot-powered vehicles.

Under the plan announced this week, drivers can get a $7,500 rebate when trading in an SUV and putting the credit towards a new Fred Flintstone-style footmobile kit.

“We need to make clean, sustainable caveman cars accessible and affordable for working families,” Biden said in a speech unveiling the rebates. “By ditching your burdensome Bronco for a barebones Bolshevik wagon, you’ll be reducing emissions and saving some Stone Age savings at the pump.”

The Footmobile for America Act would allocate billions towards the trade-in program over 10 years, letting SUV owners swap out their suburban assault vehicles for paleolithic people-powered automobiles made of stone, wood, and bone.

To qualify, the new footmobile cannot exceed 2.5 horsepower or 3 mph. Experts say going from a Suburban to a stick and stone made Flintstone style vehicle could reduce a driver’s carbon tire print by over 99%.

While many environmental groups applauded the move, some critics argued ancient car designs lack basic safety features and aren’t practical for modern life. But the administration insists the rebates will be a major step towards reducing fossil fuel use and making the Flintstones lifestyle accessible and affordable.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Mark Bannister, The Flintstones Movie