9/4/2023 Naples, FL – Local resident John Patel has found a unique solution to hide the embarrassing pillow marks that were constantly present on his face from his frequent napping – permanent tattoos mimicking pillow creases. Friends and family were caught between bewildered amusement and concern for Patel’s newfound dedication to the doze.

“I’m a power napper. I nap at least 5 times a day,” said Patel. “The problem was I always had these ugly red lines on my cheeks when I woke up. I tried different pillows but nothing worked.”

“No matter how many fancy memory foam or down pillows I bought, the indentations would still be there on his cheeks after he woke up,” Patel’s wife Karen said. “He was driving us into pillow buying death or bankruptcy; whichever came first.”

After years of living with pillow-marked shame, Patel decided to take action. “I figured why try to hide them anymore? I’ll just make them a permanent part of my face!”

Patel went to a local tattoo parlor and had the artist ink pillow creases along his cheeks, under his eyes, and on his forehead. The thin lines mimic where his real pillow marks used to be.

“Now I can nap as much as I want and don’t have to worry about looking like I just woke up,” said a relieved Patel. “My friends don’t believe they’re real tattoos at first. But once they get close and realize the lines are permanent ink, they think it’s hilarious.”

While Patel is content with his choice, some in his inner circle are struggling to find the right words. His sister, Mary, remarked, “It’s definitely a conversation starter, but I’m not sure it’s the kind of conversation starter he was hoping for. It’s like he’s sleepwalking through life in broad daylight.”

Patel’s mother, Susan, is even less enthusiastic about her son’s artistic expression. “I think it’s ridiculous,” she said with a sigh. “He’s going to regret this later. What happens when he goes for a job interview? Will he bring his favorite blanket with him everywhere?”

But Patel isn’t bothered by the criticism. “Everyone should embrace what makes them unique,” he said. “For me, it’s my love for napping.”

Patel says his unique tattoos have already improved his life. “I’m sleeping better than ever now. I can nap guilt-free!” He also plans to start a local Nappers Club to connect with other napping enthusiasts. “We’ll see who can nap the longest!”

While Patel loves his new look, sleep experts strongly advise against following his example. “Permanent pillow mark tattoos could lead to even more napping,” warned Dr. Rebecca Lewis, a somnologist.

Patel, however, remains resolute in his pursuit of the perfect nap. “I’m thinking about getting a tattoo of a pillowcase next,” he announced with a yawn. “Or maybe a tattoo of a whole bed. That way, I can sleep on the go!”

Will Patel’s adoration for the snooze button stand the test of time? One thing is certain: his pillow marks are here to stay, forever etched as a testament to his unwavering commitment to the pursuit of the perfect nap. Sleep tight, John, sleep tight.

By Akiva

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Chat AI