9/3/2023 Aspen, CO – An Aspen police officer had a real dog of a time during a recent DUI traffic stop. Officer Barry Barkson pulled over a vehicle Saturday night after observing it swerving erratically on Main Street. As Barkson approached the stopped car, he was shocked to see a golden retriever suddenly jump into the driver’s seat while the human driver slipped into the passenger side.

“I couldn’t believe it when that dog popped up behind the wheel,” Barkson said. “He was wearing sunglasses and a hat too. It was clear they were trying to make it look like the pooch was driving.”

Going along with the dog driver facade, Barkson had the dog step out of the vehicle and conducted field sobriety tests including having the canine walk in a straight line and recite the alphabet backwards. The retriever just kept drooling and nuzzling Barkson’s hands and yapping nonstop when asked about the alphabet. Not surprisingly, the dog failed badly. When Barkson requested a valid driver’s license, insurance and car registration the dog could not produce those either.

With no other options, Barkson arrested the dog for DUI and impounded the car. The human driver who orchestrated the entire charade was left angrily shaking his fist as he watched his dog being loaded into a police cruiser.

“That dog is in big trouble, but his owner is ultimately responsible,” Barkson said. “We take driving while under the influence very seriously in Aspen, regardless of whether the driver walks on two legs or four.”

The dog was booked into the local animal shelter to “sleep off the booze”. Police say the owner will need to pay several hundred dollars in fines and retrieval fees before getting his pooch back.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Microsoft Chat AI