8/2/2023 NEW YORK – In a shocking downgrade, Fitch Ratings announced today that it has given the new Barbie movie a lukewarm rating of only 5.8 out of 10 on IMDB. Fitch justified the rating actions by citing concerns over the fiscal irresponsibility displayed by the plastic protagonists.

“While Barbie may look perfect on the outside, on the inside her finances are a hot mess. There’s more than a little leverage on the Malibu Dreamhouse,” said a Fitch spokesperson.

The lukewarm rating comes despite high expectations for the new fantasy comedy featuring everyone’s favorite fashion doll and her sidekick Ken. The downgrade sent shockwaves through Hollywood and led to an immediate 15% drop in Mattel’s stock price.

Fitch advised Barbie to take austerity measures to get her fiscal house in order or risk further credit downgrades. Measures include budgeting for non-essential accessories like jet skis and hot tubs and avoiding adjustable-rate mortgages during housing bubbles.

In related news, Fitch also happened to downgrade the U.S. credit rating from AAA to AA+ today, citing concerns over lawmakers’ lack of discipline on spending and deficits leading the United States to the brink of default. But the rating agency’s controversial call on the new Barbie film is likely to draw more outrage and scrutiny.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Craiyon AI