7/24/2023 Seoul – In a shocking turn of events, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un crossed the Demilitarized Zone into South Korea earlier today, stating he wished to defect as part of a “fair swap” for American Army Private, Travis King, who crossed into North Korea willingly on July 18th.

Speaking to reporters at the Joint Security Area, Kim expressed his desire to seek asylum in the South, insisting he simply could not face returning to his dictatorship in the North.

Through an interpreter Kim said, “To be totally honest, I’m just super over being the Supreme Leader. It’s a ton of work ruling with an iron fist and having to constantly threaten nuclear war. I’m exhausted!”

Kim went on to describe the chronic stresses of being a totalitarian dictator, complaining about the “unending ego-stroking and incessant boot-licking” he has to endure from advisors and government officials.

“Plus, have you seen Pyongyang lately? It’s a total snooze-fest,” Kim added. “I’m ready to trade in the palaces and parades for K-pop and Samsung phones like a normal millennial.”

Kim called this latest move a “simple quid pro quo” to “make this defection thing legit” between Travis King last week and his defection today into South Korea.

While the details are still being worked out, South Korean president Yoon Suk Yeol welcomed Kim’s desire for a new life south of the border.

“We believe this swap underscores Mr. Kim’s sincere wish to integrate into modern society,” said Moon. “We look forward to introducing him to Squid Game and pizza.”

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Craiyon AI