7/16/2023 Tallahassee – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is reportedly considering banning Mickey Mouse from the state, citing concerns over a mysterious illness he calls “Mice Care Disease”.

According to sources close to the governor, DeSantis believes that Mickey Mouse is spreading a deadly virus that causes people to become “too compassionate, too empathetic, and too generous” towards others.

“Mickey Mouse is a menace to society,” DeSantis allegedly said in a private meeting. “He is infecting our children with his caring values and his empathetic agenda. He wants to turn Florida into a mouse utopia, where everyone is thoughtful to each other and respects everything. He is the enemy of freedom and prosperity.”

DeSantis is said to be preparing an executive order that would ban Mickey Mouse and all related characters from entering or operating in Florida. The order would also prohibit any businesses, schools, or public venues from displaying or selling any merchandise featuring Mickey Mouse or his friends. Even going so far as ordering the Florida Highway Patrol to stop all cars with Mickey Mouse ears on the dashboard or with Mickey Mouse bumper stickers.

“We just can’t have a place where people are always cheerful and optimistic. Its way past time we stamp out any atmosphere of creativity and imagination,” DeSantis muttered as he stood up to leave the private meeting. “I am committed to protecting the values of the state of Florida such as gloomy and pessimistic people who exhibit rude and impolite behavior.”

It remains to be seen whether DeSantis will actually ban Mickey Mouse from Florida. However, the reports have certainly put the state’s most famous mouse in the spotlight.

BY BS

The Journalist BS

Photo Credits: Craiyon AI