7/11/2023 Memphis – Local resident Karen Browning was furious when she found out that her husband had bought all the Elvis Presley toilet paper rolls available from an Amazon Prime Day sale. The rolls have the face of the singer printed on each sheet. As a self-proclaimed Elvis fan, Josh Browning said he couldn’t ignore the deal that offered him a 50% discount on the novelty item. “It was a great deal!” he exclaimed. “I couldn’t resist, honey. You know how much I love Elvis. Who wouldn’t want to wipe their butt with the King of Rock and Roll?”

His wife, however, was not amused. “He’s out of his mind,” she fumed. “What are we going to do with all this toilet paper? It’s not even soft or absorbent. It’s just creepy and disrespectful. And it clashes with our bathroom decor. He spent over $500 on this crap toilet paper that we can’t even use,” she said. “And how can he call himself a fan when he’s wiping his butt with Elvis’s face? That’s just wrong.”

Josh, however, said he had no plans to part with his precious purchase. He said he loved Elvis and his toilet paper, and that Karen was overreacting. He also said he hoped that using the toilet paper would make him feel closer to his idol. “Maybe with each use some of his talent and charisma will ‘rub’ off on me,” he joked.

BY BS

The Journalist BS