6/20/2023 Washington, DC – In a surprising move, President Joe Biden announced today that he will invite the Denver Nuggets to the White House in celebration of their NBA championship. The Nuggets, who won their first title in franchise history by defeating the Miami Heat in five games, will be honored by the president in a ceremony to be held at a date yet to be determined.

But the most shocking part of Biden’s announcement was his choice of menu for the occasion. The president said he will serve Taco Bell tofu nuggets to the Nuggets players and staff, as a tribute to their team’s name and championship.

According to inside sources, Biden was under the impression that the Nuggets were named after fried nuggets, not gold and silver nuggets. He reportedly told his staff to plan on ordering a large amount of Taco Bell tofu nuggets and arrange them on a silver platter for the team. He also is preparing a speech in which he praises the Nuggets for their “crispy and delicious” performance and thanked them for “bringing some flavor to the game”.

“I think it’s a fitting way to celebrate their achievement,” Biden said. “They are the Nuggets, after all. And who doesn’t love tofu nuggets? They are delicious and nutritious, and they’re good for the environment too. Plus, they are easy to eat with your hands. No need for forks and knives.”

Biden added that he will also provide some dipping sauces, such as barbecue, honey mustard and ranch, for the Nuggets to enjoy. He said he hopes they will accept the invitation and enjoy a meal “on the house”.

The Nuggets players, however, were not so enthusiastic about the president’s culinary decision. Some of them expressed their dismay and disbelief.

“It’s kind of weird, to be honest,” one anonymous player said. “I mean, we are professional athletes. We have strict diets and nutrition plans. We don’t eat junk food like fried tofu nuggets. Especially not from Taco Bell. That’s just gross.”

“Are you kidding me? Tofu nuggets? That’s disrespectful. We worked hard to win this championship, and we deserve some real food. Not some fake meat that tastes like cardboard,” tweeted Jamal Murray, the Nuggets star point guard who averaged 21.4 points per game in the finals.

“Wow. Just wow. I can’t believe this. Tofu nuggets? Really? That’s what we get for being champions? I’m allergic to soy, man. I can’t eat that stuff. What am I supposed to do?” posted Aaron Gordon, the Nuggets power forward who had his best performance in game 4.

“SMH. Tofu nuggets? Come on, man. That’s not cool. That’s not cool at all. We’re not vegans. We’re Nuggets. We need some real nuggets. Some chicken nuggets. Some beef nuggets. Some pork nuggets. Anything but tofu nuggets,” wrote Nikola Jokic, the Nuggets center who won the NBA Finals MVP award.

While, the White House has not yet confirmed the exact date and time of the ceremony, it’s clear the Nuggets were less than thrilled with the menu selection. Tofu nuggets are not a common item on the Taco Bell menu, and they may not appeal to the taste buds of the basketball players who are used to a balanced diet.

BY BS

The Journalist BS