6/19/23 Beijing – In a surprising twist of diplomacy, US Secretary of State Antony Blinken showed up at his meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping today with a balloon bouquet gift, while Jinping presented Blinken a book on how to win trade wars titled “The Art of the Deal (But Not Really)”.

The awkward exchange of gifts was captured by the media, who witnessed the stunned expressions on both leaders’ faces. Blinken reportedly said, “I thought this would be a nice gesture to show our goodwill and friendship. Balloons are fun, right?” Jinping replied, “Well, I appreciate your insincerity, but I’m afraid these balloons won’t help you much in our meetings. Maybe you should read this book instead. It’s very informative and entertaining.”

The book, which is a parody of former US President Donald Trump’s bestseller “The Art of the Deal”, was written by a Chinese author who goes by the pen name “Xi Da Da”. It contains narcissist advice on how to deal with trade disputes, such as “Always threaten to impose tariffs, even if you don’t have any leverage”, “Never admit your mistakes, even if they are obvious”, and “Blame everything on your opponents, even if they are not involved”.

Neither leader seemed to be genuine with each other or pleased with their gifts, as they exchanged cold glances and forced smiles. Blinken looked embarrassed and confused with the book, while Jinping was clearly annoyed by the balloons. The two leaders then proceeded to their meeting room, where no major breakthroughs or agreements were reached. Both sides reiterated their positions and grievances. However, they also agreed to cooperate on some areas of common ground in order to promote global stability.

When the news of the gift exchange reached US President Joe Biden, he reportedly burst into laughter and said “That’s my boy Tony! He always knows how to lighten up the mood. I’m sure Xi loved those balloons. And that book? What a classic! I bet Tony learned a lot from it. Maybe he’ll lend it to me when he comes back.”

The meeting ended with a brief handshake and a photo opportunity, where Blinken and Jinping smiled for the cameras. However, some observers noted that their smiles looked artificial and strained. As they parted ways, Blinken reportedly whispered to Jinping, “I hope you enjoy the balloons.” Jinping frowned back as security whisked him and the balloons away.

BY BS

The Journalist BS