A federal judge has hired a world record holder in Rubik’s Cube speed solving to manage aspects of former President Trump’s classified documents case. Judge Aileen Cannon, who ordered the attorneys involved in the case to contact the Justice Department by Friday and file a notice of compliance by June 20th, said she was impressed by Max Park’s ability to solve a 3x3x3 cube in 3.13 seconds.

“I like everything to be fast and efficient,” Judge Cannon said. “That’s why I hired Max to oversee and enforce the critical milestones in this case. He will make sure that no one wastes time or tries to delay the start of this trial.”

Park, who holds the world record for the fastest single solve of a 3x3x3 Rubik’s Cube, said he was honored and excited to work with Judge Cannon. “I think this is a great opportunity to use my skills for a good cause,” he said. “I will be monitoring the progress of the attorneys and the Justice Department, and if they fail to meet the deadlines, I will give them a Rubik’s Cube and challenge them to solve it faster than me. If they can’t, they will have to face the consequences.”

Judge Cannon’s family confirmed that she has always been speedy in everything she does. “She was born in less than an hour,” her mother said. “She learned to walk and talk before she was one year old. She graduated from high school at 16 and from law school at 21. She never procrastinates or hesitates. She always knows what she wants and how to get it.”

The judge’s decision to hire Park has sparked a lot of reactions on social media, mostly humorous. Some of the comments include:

• @RubiksFan: Wow, this is awesome! Maybe Max can also solve the Middle East conflict and climate change while he’s at it! #MaxForPresident
• @TrumpLover: This is ridiculous! Judge Cannon is biased and unfair! She should hire someone who can solve a 4x4x4 or 5x5x5 cube instead! #StopTheSteal
• @LegalEagle: I wonder if Max can also help me with my divorce case. My ex-wife is taking forever to sign the papers. #SpeedyJustice
• @CubingNerd: I’m so jealous of Max. He gets to work with a federal judge and rub elbows with powerful people. And he gets paid for playing with cubes. #DreamJob

Park, who has autism and is a self-taught cuber, said he was honored to be chosen for the task and hoped to use his skills to help the court reach a fair and speedy resolution. He also said he was looking forward to meeting Trump and challenging him to a cube-off. “I think he would be a great opponent. He has very big hands and a lot of confidence. Maybe he can beat my record. Or maybe he can just make the cube great again.”

BY BS

The Journalist BS