5/4/2023 – Louisville, KY

The weather forecast for The Kentucky Derby Saturday is predicted to be nothing less than the apocalypse. Meteorologists are warning residents to prepare for the end of the world as we know it.

According to the latest forecast, a massive storm system will bring torrential rain, hail, and high winds to the area, causing widespread flooding and destruction. But that’s just the beginning.

As the storm intensifies, it will trigger a series of catastrophic events, including tornadoes, earthquakes, and even volcanic eruptions. The sky will turn dark with ash and smoke, and the ground will shake beneath your feet.

“We’re talking about biblical proportions here,” said NWS weatherman, Bob Johnson. “This is not your typical thunderstorm. This is the end of the world.”

Residents are being urged to stay indoors and prepare for the worst. Stock up on food, water, and supplies, and be ready to evacuate at a moment’s notice.

But despite the dire forecast, one resident was taking it all in stride. “If it rains at all it’ll just be a little rain,” said local resident, Sarah Overbay. “We’ll get through it.”

Additionally, some weather experts have dismissed it as a hoax, a prank, or a glitch in the system. They claim that the weather will actually be sunny and mild, with a slight breeze and a high of 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

“It’s a beautiful day for a race,” said Brad Weathers, a meteorologist for a local TV station. “I don’t know what those NWS guys are smoking, but they should share some with me.”

Only time will tell if the apocalypse will indeed come to pass on Saturday. After all, Cyclone Mischief drew into the race only today. One thing is for sure, though – it’s going to be a wild ride.

By Akiva

The Journalist BS

Photo Credit: Microsoft Chat AI