4/22/2023 – Boston, MA

In a hilarious mix-up, a group of Santa impersonators arrived at the Satanic Temple’s “SatanCon” event in Boston yesterday, mistaking it for a festive gathering of like-minded individuals.

The group of red-suited, white-bearded men arrived at the convention center expecting to spread some yuletide cheer and hand out candy canes, only to be met with an entirely different kind of vibe. The air was thick with the smell of incense, and the attendees were dressed in black robes with pentagrams emblazoned on their chests.

At first, the Santas thought they had stumbled upon some kind of goth convention, but as they looked closer, they realized their mistake. “Ho ho ho, this isn’t the North Pole!” one of them exclaimed, as he ducked out of the way of a coven of witches performing a ritual on stage.

Despite the mix-up, the Santas tried to make the best of the situation. They set up a small booth in the corner of the convention center and started handing out candy canes to anyone who would take them. But the attendees were not impressed.

In the end, the Santas decided it was best to cut their losses and leave. As they made their way out of the convention center, they could hear the sounds of chanting and drumming behind them. “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!” one of them yelled, as they hurried out of sight.

All in all, it was a day the Santas would never forget. They may have come to spread joy and cheer, but they left with a newfound appreciation for the dark side of human nature. And who knows, maybe they’ll even consider donning some black robes and joining in on the fun at next year’s SatanCon.